2021.10.16 04:57 ben81PRO I'm sure China is going to be blamed for this too... "'The Five' slam Biden's 'misplaced priorities' in the US education system" on YouTube
2021.10.16 04:57 Archinxs I'm brand new to the game and decided to summon on the starter banner and ended up with this, are they any good?
2021.10.16 04:57 seethroughmoon97 Not super feminine yet but I’ll get there
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2021.10.16 04:56 Onlythickchicks walmart pick up!!!
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2021.10.16 04:56 MistakeFeeling7239 Am I mean for holding a grudge against my stepmom
I live with my grandparents now after this happened but my dad has been texting everyday telling me that he thinks I'm perfect and that I'm everything he wants in a daughter so idk if I should just go home because I guess my dad is innocent.
My mom passed away a long long time ago, but my dad put me in therapy as soon as I started Kindergarten and did everything right so I'm thankful for that. He married my stepmom later. SM never forced the mom role but did mom things for me and after being in therapy for a while, I realized that it was ok to call my stepmom "mom" and that my mom would be happy that I had a girl in my life to help me.
My stepmom got pregnant and I was REALLY excited to have a little sibling and to be a family of four. Keep in mind that I genuinely thought my stepmom considered me to be her daughter so I didn't have the feelings that many stepkids have of being left out/not feeling good enough.
One day when I was not supposed to be around, I heard her talking to her mom (who I call grandma and I also thought she accepted me!!) and said that she was scared that her baby would like me and she doesn't want to keep any pictures of her baby that would look like me. My "grandma" responded that she won't look like me because she has my dad's and stepmom's genes and none of my mom's genes would be involved. She said the baby would have great genes because the only genes that the baby will share with me are ones from someone she loved.
Guys I really really tried hard not to cry but I just burst into tears on the spot. My stepmom and grandma freaked out and said that she was just hormonal and that there was nothing wrong with me but I just needed to run away, so I ran to my mom's parents house. My mom's parents called my dad and yelled at him and he came over immediately and told me that he loved me, but my grandparents said they were going to sue for rights and the judge said I could live with them.
my stepmom has been apologizing but idk what to do and if I should go home
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2021.10.16 04:56 DittoMania5590 I can see Ron doing this tho...
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2021.10.16 04:56 res30stupid [Harry Potter] What if Harry used the bosy-bind curse on Snape, leaving him awake and conscious as they confronted Pettigrew?
He learns who truly betrayed the Potters and got Lily killed, serves as a credible witness to Sirius' innocence... realises Lupin forgot his potion...
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2021.10.16 04:56 rlweaver610 On my way to meet up with Ben for a date
2021.10.16 04:56 NeedComputerTips Woody Appreciation Thread for getting absolutely blitzkrieged in the name of content!
2021.10.16 04:56 RedditWizards What's this mean for unions?
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2021.10.16 04:56 valnze 2020 dystopia
Telefonen ringer, det er politiet. De har fanget tyven der har stjålet min bil. Politiet beretter at tyven desværre nåede at køre vanvidskørsel og politiet har derfor allerede beslaglagt og solgt mit køretøj. Jeg trasker hjem til min lejlighed. På døren står en seddel fra boligforeningen. Der har været problemer med manden jeg har udlejet et værelse til. Det var egentlig ikke fordi jeg ville leje værelset ud, men tiderne har været hårde. Det har ikke være nemt at finde arbejde efter Mette Frederiksen lukkede min virksomhed, den trofaste minkforretning, der har tjent mig godt i så mange år. Boligforeningen gør på sedlen opmærksom på at min værelsesudlejer er blevet anholdt for tyveri og at de af den grund har valgt at ophæve mit lejemål som beskrevet i reglementet. Der er jo nultolerance for kriminalitet i boligforeningen. Forståeligt nok. Nøglen er allerede blevet skiftet. Telefonen ringer igen, det er min lejer, der beklager at han stjal bilen. Det er der jo intet at gøre ved nu. Jeg finder mig et godt sted på gaden, mit nye hjem, og ligger mig til at sove. I morgen er der atter en dag.
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2021.10.16 04:56 BaaGuru World-famous Mysuru Dasara comes to an end with ‘Jumbo Savari’
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2021.10.16 04:56 StageEastern9448 questions about sig air m18
I want to know how hard the co2 mags shoot. Read online that the shoot over 400. My field limit is 400fps. If you have any experience please let me know in the comments.
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2021.10.16 04:56 storythrowaway765 Beyoncé posted so many new pics today (10/15)
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2021.10.16 04:56 kvyra Screw your top 30 who's your top 10 you want to return
2021.10.16 04:56 RukkusInDaHouse Forgot the Pic
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2021.10.16 04:56 TheBigBis Here’s one of the many things that I drew during school recently! Probably one of the best faces that I drew so far.
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2021.10.16 04:56 -Teimo Two weeks into welding, second time on 6013. What do you think?
2021.10.16 04:56 obviousthrowaway801 Am I crazy? How to get unstuck? (ex w/ quiet bpd)
(Take this all with a grain of salt I went through trauma and I don’t remember everything perfectly)
I was isolated with minimal contact with real people, mainly did everything online for multiple yrs (21 m). Professionally diagnosed with depression and anxiety and had suicidal ideations but never helped myself or focused on my life. Didn’t have any real plans for the future. Was never in a relationship but it was something I always dreamed of.
The start of this year, everything changed. I met a girl online (21 f) who I had somewhat known for years prior, she was always quiet and was not very expressive. Somehow I started talking to her more, and she had everything in common and gave me insane attention. We got in a relationship and she said she liked me bc of how in touch I was with my emotions. We spent all day every day together online for 2 or 3 months. She seemed different than other people but I didn’t know how, I tried to be understanding and not hold that against her. I wanted to be in-person with her more than anything but the Canada-US border was closed (otherwise we lived fairly close). We did a lot of sexual stuff and whatnot but then there was a sudden drop in intimacy (I think) and my gut told me something was wrong. I was copying her text methods and became dependent on her for emotional validation and anything sexual. I had to practically beg to see her face and for anything sexual and it felt like I was manipulating her. The pain in my gut told me something was seriously wrong but I didn’t know what exactly. I felt extremely unsupported and unloved (like hated). I started to feel extremely alone and started taking hot showers to not feel so alone and had many more physical symptoms. Eventually I broke up with her bc of the pain but I kept talking to her for 30 days, got extremely stressed out and my anxiety peaked, and something in my brain snapped (I believe I began to derealize/dissociate and/or get stuck in fight/flight/freeze). I ended up in the hospital for six days of which I barely remember anything.
Somewhere along the line I mentioned that I thought she might have depression or apathy. She said I think you’re right and she started to feel like it during her relationship with her “cheating” ex. I told her that I was fully committed to helping her through “depression” or “apathy”.
When I got out of the hospital I had no messages from her. She thought I killed myself, and apparently (I later found out) that she tried asphyxiating herself but stopped herself bc she thought I might come back. (Being in the hospital didn’t phase her at all). I continued talking to her for a while and eventually she realized how much pain I was in and sent me a letter containing how she thought she has “quiet” BPD with supporting evidence and messed up stuff from her past (suicide ideation, SH, etc.) and her childhood (she tried to get diagnosed in high-school) but her parents are always her crutch as to why she cant get help. I am fully convinced she has it or at least has the traits that negatively affect relationships and my newly-acquired therapist believes that too. My therapist straight up said she most likely has BPD and she hurt or unknowingly abused me. She asked me very clearly if I wanted to ever talk to her again. At the time of reading the letter I thought it was slightly messed up but I was in so much pain that I didn’t care and said yes. It is really weird bc her text structure and patterns match up with a lot of people with BPD on this subreddit.
I got back in a relationship with her bc I didn’t want to be alone and thought I could put up with the pain, she gave a decent amount of sexual stuff and attention but it wasn’t like before bc she withdrew faster and I was constantly in pain and started getting nosebleeds among other physical symptoms. The fucked up thing is that I knew she was hurting me and knew I might be getting stuck in a trauma bond but I told myself I didn’t care and stayed anyway. (Keep in mind this was all online!). It constantly felt like I was walking on eggshells and couldn’t build a coherent stable image of her in my head. I started becoming the worst version of myself, I started bottling up anger and suppressing emotion around her. My negative attributes became amplified by a million times. It felt like I was sick. I started derealizing and it felt like I couldn’t heal or be nice anymore. She even said at one point “isn’t it obvious that I’m hurting you”. I broke up with her again and started seriously hating her and being afraid of her but I couldn’t stay away. I felt trapped. I felt nothing but pain and emptiness and numbness and I felt crazy. She further withdrew and I kept getting more mean bc of the pain. I called her an abusive bitch and even threatened her and harassed her (I completely lost my moral compass..)
Eventually it started to feel extremely good when she talked to me (chemicals rushed in my brain). So now I feel chemically dependent on her and can’t stay away even if she was hurting me. As of now she blocked me everywhere bc I couldn’t control myself and my emotions (I no longer am in touch with them). She hasn’t talked to me for weeks but I keep trying to reach out and either be mean and accuse her of lying and being abusive or beg for her to talk to me again. It feels like I have black and white thinking. She refuses to get help and it pisses me off. She said she couldn’t get help but I found out that was a lie. I started talking to mutual online friends about everything bc I couldn’t control myself anymore. She is basically in denial of everything and even claims I fed her the information for her letter. She wants nothing to do with me and some of our mutual “friends” are on her side and thinks I’m crazy and abusive (I obviously started harassing and saying mean things which I’m not proud of but in the moment felt like I needed to). Basically everything is my fault and she took screenshots of everything bad I ever said and deleted anything incriminating she said in text (90% of everything was in voice anyway and no proof from that). She could get me permanently banned from everywhere or possibly put me in jail for something.
Right now I am disconnected from reality (derealization), can barely feel my skin when I touch it, my body is numb, and there is constant sharp pain in my head (also burning in my forehead). I don’t feel an emotional connection to the world or anything in it. I keep trying to give money to friends and am acting off the rails/suicidal (cuz it feels like I might do it). I am still on the emotional rollercoaster. I keep trying to contact her for the high but I think she is dangerously close to filing a restraining order or something.
I have a therapist but very few supports and I’m still on edge. I don’t feel like the same person as before and am interested in nothing. (it almost feels like I have bpd, some of her friends say I’m the one with bpd). I keep obsessing over her and am stuck in this numb empty state. I wish I had more irl/online people as supports (or to feel the high again.... lol). I would appreciate any insight people have or support. I don’t know how to get unstuck from my personal hell. It feels like I felt and became her negative emotions. I just wish she would help herself so it doesn’t happen again. It’s very lonely in this state.
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2021.10.16 04:56 soapboat3 Can anyone link me CDQ Endless real quick?
Have spent a solid 30 minutes looking for it and all the links are dead. If anyone has it, can they link it real quick? Would be much appreciated
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2021.10.16 04:56 Ea1rtha Will the epidemic affect real finance now?
2021.10.16 04:56 The-Coding-Race Translate app in MIT App inventor by The Coding Race
2021.10.16 04:56 Original_Buffalo9868 AMA about my High Fantasy world, my world is a singular continent with ten provinces. It has a creation story and multiple wars. I hope this will give me some ideas as I’ve been having some writers block.
2021.10.16 04:56 SayanMCPE97 I wonder if Salinger saw himself and Mirabella in Iska and Alice..
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2021.10.16 04:56 SantosPhillipCarlo ICYMI: Sounds of the Game (Mic Check) from today
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