2021.10.18 19:13 chamil87 So, really thinking of moving forward with separation/divorce - where do i start? (see other post)
Wanted to thank everyone for their comments, support, chats...it's helping. Talking to others has been huge as I haven't had anyone else to talk to about any of this other than 1 therapy session - and it was surprisingly more of a "you have to learn how you can trust her again and not think of everything as going to always be a negative - find the positives; she's trying to win back trust by closing it, etc". Was a little surprised by that. Although she did say, if she is doing it, you have no control and then you have to make a decision.
Deep down, i had a feeling this is where I'd end up. Now, i need to know how to go about doing things.
I'm realizing I cannot trust her, no matter how hard i try, and i can't live like this anymore. Even if she didn't actually "cheat" before and after opening up, i will always wonder and always analyze everything, and I hate that she did that to me. She changed me and I never feel right anymore. 2021 has been the worst year of my life. Shes not the same person i married.
So, we share a house with a mortgage, one vehicle, 3 kids. Joint bank accounts. i have one Credit card, she has 1 as well. All other assets/loans are joint typically.
Where do i start? Lawyer, then separation talk with her and figure out living situation and custody in the mean time? I'm looking at finalizing the actual next step after Christmas....because at this exact moment, i just can't.
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2021.10.18 19:13 melissasuestore New Cartoon! Melissa Sue Illustrations
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2021.10.18 19:13 Apotatocalledsweet Gresham in person
I'm on the search for a newbie dnd 5e player who wants to learn with all of us and has for the minimum glance at the players handbook or atleast willing to listen to our advice on character creation I'm a new dm currently I'll be running a dungeon crawler for the first sessions and then ill be jumping into a homebrew world that also incorporates players ideas dont expect stuff to be too deep, this is my first go around . The reason i want to run a dungeon crawler for the first couple of sessions is in order for all us to be familiar with the rules and get a sense of combat tactics and cohesion in the group,
My dm style Rules are important but i want all of us to have fun and i allow homebrew and UA with approval "i will listen to you!"
I'm friendly despite having a resting #$#$ face, sorcastic (i dont hide malice behind it) and kind and that doesn't mean you can abuse my generosity! I will call it out if you're being a jerk
The tables atmosphere We all have a sense of humor be respectful/atleast apologize Nothing explicit Politics: We're all "woke"(left wingers) so no need to talk about obvious horrible stuff No drugs or alcohol
First of all our schedules are very flexible and we play whenever we get a chance on a weekdays/ends and we usually start around 6:30pm-7:30pm and 8:30pm-9:00pm
Player Requirements in order for all of us to have a great time -be vax -Have a character in mind that wants to work together with others and not be the protagonist/center of the universe in everything also not a murder hobo!! -I hate doing this and i apologize But i think it works for everyone Age limit :early twenties so nobody feels excluded or out of place -Kind and friendly -Team player and doesn't mind using the help action every now. -Has taken a bath -Somewhat socially adept -No trash talking, no racism,no anti- lgtb ,no right wingers, no R subject matters
Please dm me if interested
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2021.10.18 19:13 lukewin Does anyone feel like, whenever they’re listening to Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing, it might be the time they don’t finish hearing the song…..fade to black?
Same as title. Recently have the song in my current rotation as well as the lullabye version by rockabye baby. I wish I could put their songs in a playlist. Feel like I’m Chrissy in Rome, except I’ve just been hitting a weed vape pen.
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2021.10.18 19:13 jdgedh Experience with Purina LiveClear food? How long did it take to start working?
Hi all! Long story short, I’ve lived with cats before, never had a problem with allergies. Recently adopted a 1.5 year old female cat (her name is Mia!), noticed I had some allergies the day we got her. Fast forward a month and a half, I’m on 2 allergy meds and while the upper respiratory stuff is mostly cleared, I’m still getting some chest tightness and asthma (currently have 2 diff inhalers). We started her on the Purina LiveClear food and dry shampoo a few weeks ago to see if it would make a difference. Does anyone have experience with Purina LiveClear and how long did they take before your allergies got better? Basically trying to decide if this is going to work or if we need to rehome her, because I don’t want to live with chronic asthma :’(
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2021.10.18 19:13 IchTanze Heard it in a video and everything just came together.
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2021.10.18 19:13 litecode My squirrel cat Milo: His bottle brush is almost as big as his body
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2021.10.18 19:13 justonemom14 I'm in north east TX and found this bug, I think it's an ant with wings but I'm not sure, any ideas?
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2021.10.18 19:13 SargeRedArmy01 Update on daughters custom Gundam.
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2021.10.18 19:13 saveadanceforme There is more Emeric’s in the Harry Potter universe than the amount i’ve met in real life lmao.
2021.10.18 19:13 Chance_Yellow8717 Xterra malta 2021 - Who is in??
2021.10.18 19:13 marinbala Heute ist Apple Event mit Stargast Thomas Schmid
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2021.10.18 19:13 ShortAlgo $TSP waiting for Buy signal on TSP https://t.co/JZNUYEz67E
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2021.10.18 19:13 l_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_l (+3448) A young man with an allergy dies in jail because they think he is 'faking it'. He was in on a misdemeanor marijuana charge.
2021.10.18 19:13 my77rh What happens if you eat 6 eggs in a day?
What will happen if you eat some eggs?
You ask it as if its a sin! How terrible!
Well, as long as one is not allergic to the proteins in eggs, then your body will likely (if it could) thank you for the awesome nutrition you just bestowed upon it. If you’re allergic to eggs, my condolences!
Too many people freak the F out about the “high cholesterol” in eggs, but they don’t bat an eyelash when they down their Monster or their Vente Soy Mocha Frapaccino…
If your worry is gaining fat, worry not. Fat is gained from insulin spikes (from refined sugars… and fruit… fruit is not the benign panacea many claim it to be) and hormonal swings (from refined sugars and fruit) not by eating fat. Contrary to popular myth, fat does not make us fat… Its the fat free soda, low fat muffins, fat free milk, breakfast cereals, and bagels that is doing that. Besides, the fats in eggs are awesome for your brain and nerves. On that note, what is it that you think nerves and brain are composed of anyway? Its not carbohydrates…
The other morning, after a quick 15 minute workout, my breakfast consisted of 10 organic home grown eggs cooked up with roughly 1lb organic homegrown greens, 8oz wild hunted (yes, I killed the pig) home cured bacon, and awesome hot sauce. Roughly 1500 calories… not bad.
(Update: I’ve discarded eating “greens” due to the fact that there are certain chemicals in many leafy plants that are not as “healthy” as I once believed. I never really enjoyed eating salad, so now I skip it all together. In case you’re wondering, when I make an egg scramble, I’ve since replaced the greens with cheddar cheese…. It is far superior in taste and nutritional density!)
Yes, this was my breakfast. I was not “stuffed” after and I did not binge eat.
Ok, here’s what I ate for lunch and dinner too:
For lunch, I consumed 2 pints whole fat organic cottage cheese and 4 cups organic frozen berries. Roughly 1500 calories… again, not bad.
For dinner, it was 1lb ground Elk with tomato sauce and quinoa noodles. Yes, I killed this animal too… Roughly 1500 calories in this meal too! Yay!
(Update: I have significantly increased my consumption of animal products, though. My diet consists of elk/venison, beef, organs, bone broth with sea salt and apple cider vinegar, eggs, and cheese. I no longer eat tomatoes or quinoa due to similar reasons that I discarded the greens.)
Bottom line is this: Don’t fear eggs, eggs are badass nutrition.
Give yourself an epic nutritional treat… eat an egg… or a dozen. You’ll probably be a happier person for doing so!
When I see nearly everyone around me eating a low-fat diet and it happens that these same people are the ones being diagnosed with diabetes, degenerative brain disease, osteoporosis, degenerative disk disease, multiple sclerosis, cancer, etc, I take note… and I don't do what they do… I do the opposite.
When these people are shunning eggs, I drink 6 raw organic or home produced eggs in a smoothie with a huge smile.
When these people drink their “healthy” diet soda because someone said it was the healthy choice, I simply drink water.
When these people eat their fat free tofu “meat” product, I eat 1/2 lb of sublime bacon with so much joy, it sends chills into the souls of the timid.
When these people drink their Vente soy “milk” late, I drink a pint of coffee with a 1/2 cup of raw coconut oil dumped into it.
(Update: Though, I still occasionally consume coconut oil, Heavy Cream (from grass fed cows) is far superior to it in taste and nutrition. I habitually include in my coffee/diet now.)
When these people down their Vodka and then proceed to chase it with a diet Red Bull, I do the same, but I skip the Red Bull…
Its interesting how a nutrition answer can morph into a philosophy rant… maybe they’re one and the same…
Peace… and eat an egg!
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2021.10.18 19:13 Goodtimeguru9292 Men, have any of you ever been stuck on your partner's past to the point it ruins each relationship?
29(M) here and I would like to gather some perspective from others on this complex I seem to struggle with IMMENSELY. In short, within a short period of entering an intimate relationship, I hyper focus on their sexual past and lose interest in them. This has occurred since my first "serious" relationship at 18. I will experience extremely vivid images / mental movies of them performing sexual acts with others (even if I don't know what their past partners looked like). I have done a lot of research on this over the years and it's claimed to be a form of OCD, called Retroactive jealousy. This only flares when I start to truly feel "love" or strong emotion. If it's someone I'm only casually dating or hanging out with and they make a joke about something sexual from their past, it goes in one ear and out the other. However if I ever develop true feelings for them, I will recall every single thing they said and it will haunt me for weeks, months, years, until I terminate the relationship. Then I get peace until the process starts again with someone new. It's so extreme and unbearable that for most of my 20's I figured I would just remain single and pursue my goals, and that's when I felt the most content and happy.
Being proactive to overcome & the results:
I have attended A.R.T. (Accelerated Resolution Therapy) sessions for $300 a pop, go to a counselor weekly, have read a lot of books regarding the power of the mind, self development, etc, and have taken online courses to try and diminish these thoughts. In other words, I'm aware of the issue and have committed to spending a lot of time and money into overcoming it. I have tried to rewire my mind and even went to the extent of taking Luvox for OCD / Anxiety.
Despite this, it feels as if I've made 0 progress over they YEARS. This stuff eats me up DAILY. I rarely live in the moment due to such intrusive thoughts. It's a very excruciating thing to acknowledge as it seems like I'll never be "happy" or have a long term relationship. I have tried to dig deep to see what could cause this as many are immediate to bash me for these thoughts or say "you're insecure". I'm not a cocky or boastful individual but I am confident in myself. I am considered a leader among my friends, have great relationships with family and friends, own a successful business, am what many would say is physically attractive (I don't pursue women, they typically have pursued me). Once again, please don't take this as me being cocky, I just wanted to provide context as to who I am and my thoughts. I am usually extremely rational and logical but not in this situation.
I am dating someone 29(F)that has been considered one of my best friends for the last 10+ years. We have always craved being together but life had taken us separate ways. We have an amazing friendship and and are great intimate partners. This woman is the only woman I've truly ever desired, back since we were teenagers. Often times I would not commit to any other relationship because I felt that she put the bar so high, that no one else would meet the standards I had for dating.
Since we had been friends for over a decade, we had shared personal things with eachother. She had confided in me over the years that she felt identical towards me and that regardless of who eachother was dating, we felt they didn't match up to eachother (the reason we put off dating was due to going separate ways for college and because we were concerned to tarnish the friendship if things didn't work out). She had further confided in me that she always felt something was off with her hormones as she had never been "turned on" by a partner and would rather please herself than engage sexually with someone. She felt that she was perhaps asexual or demisexual, because she wanted nothing to do with sex and would try to delay it as much as possible, often only caving to do it 1-2 times a month to please her partner. She is highly intelligent and more so drawn towards intelligence and good conversation than physical appearance. Throughout the years of friendship, my stories were extremely different. Talk of how much I enjoyed sex with my partners and how I would want to do it 3-4 times a day if time permitted (I didn't expect us to ever date).
Once we started dating, we eventually had a more "serious" talk about our pasts. We didn't delve into much detail other than how many partners we had and the context. She had stated 7 partners and that they were all in the context of a relationship, with sex with 3 of the partners only ever happening 3-4 times over the course of 5-9 months (the length of each of those relationships). She stated once again that she has never craved sex or initiated it and that it's been a problem in her past relationships. She had never had a "hook up", FWB, ONS, etc.
A few months after dating, we became sexual and she seemed ecstatic, stating that she couldn't believe how good our sex was and "now I know what all of the hype is like". Stating things like "You've opened up my world", "you've helped me find my sexuality as a woman", and she's also become more open to trying new creative things that I bring up.
You would think I would be grateful or feel "lucky" right? That she and I have the connection to explore her sexual world and that I am the man she connects with on such a level that she actually has a libido for once? Unfortunately that's not how I feel. Instead, I find myself creating scenarios of how it possibly was between her and someone else.
Rational vs. irrational:
I have told myself to think rationally - "You're almost 30 years old, anyone you date will have a past. At 30 years old, most women who have gone through their 20's and college probably have been with more than 7 people. They likely will have had a drunk hook up, ONS, FWB or some other casual form of sex. Since this category is such a big deal to you, you should feel fortunate that you are the man helping her open up her sexuality and trying new things, this is the one woman you've ever loved."
However, the irrational thoughts come in extremely strong - "Would you feel this way if she had only been with 3-4 people? Is 7 much more than that? Yes it's double. Why would she have sex with them if she didn't want to? Oh, to appease them, because it's what people assume they should do if they want to remain in a relationship? The list goes on and on.
From the day we became friends I joked with her that we would one day get married. I do love her, however I deal with twisted thoughts of my own in the category of sex. I'm worried that if I don't get a handle of this type of thinking, I will be the demise of this relationship. I have done all that I can think to do and I don't know what else is left as an option.
TL;DR: I struggle with intrusive / obsessive thoughts over my partner's sexual past. I have tried so many things (therapy, counseling, medication, self help) to overcome this form of OCD and feel destined to be single if this is not under control.
What are your thoughts?
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2021.10.18 19:13 OriginalBowsa Safemoon - what are your thoughts?
Just wanted to put an open topic out there regarding safemoon - it’s not something I notice on here as a discussion, probably reason enough to avoid however there seems to be a ‘buzz’ around it none the less.
So I am interested is what peoples thoughts are good and bad, but I’d appreciate some reasoning as to why you feel that way…. As opposed to:
Utterly terrible - avoid Or It’s going to the moon get on board
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2021.10.18 19:13 LettuceOnDog I am *mildly* concerned
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2021.10.18 19:13 MissBarker93 This woman writes "Nobody wants you living here and they don't have the guts to tell you" and then signs the letter anonymously? What a coward.
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2021.10.18 19:13 roro4484 Got some new boots!!!! :D
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2021.10.18 19:13 alexfromsdca Who did this!? Lol I want a Sixth shirt, excuse me
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2021.10.18 19:13 gzz9 Reasons Why Stafford is not a top 10 QB
Leads the NFL in adjusted QBR and Passer Rating
4th in the NFL in passing yards
4th in the NFL in complete yards in the air thrown (He is throwing the long boi)
3rd in the NFL in TDs
8th in completion percentage
Consensus #2 team in the NFL so far.
Yeah, that story line doesn't make sense at all. Stafford is a beast.
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2021.10.18 19:13 Oil_slick941611 PB Harm training mission F18
Holy cow, am I the only not understanding how to fire a harm? the training mission in the game makes no sense to me I cannot fire the damn missile against the sam site and my counter measures are useless and I get shot down every time.
I set the auto pilot way points get within range and either get a PLBK X and I have to override the harm with PB8 to even get a missile off, none of which the narrator mentions in the briefing or instruction.
am I missing something? I looked at the Manual and im even more confused, I get the DDI functions I believe, I select the HARM then the mode PB and Harm loft, in A/C I cannot fire, it just goes PLBK X
what am I not getting?
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2021.10.18 19:13 iamgrooty2781 Is there multiplayer on Switch?
I’ve tried to join games in the multiplayer selector by choosing various acts and quests, however I never join a game and no one joins mine.
Am I doing something wrong?
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2021.10.18 19:13 ShortAlgo $OSCR waiting for Short signal on OSCR https://t.co/SVYDSNN3At
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