2022.01.24 19:19 DrunkCapricorn Cappy's Non-Drinking Diary - January 24, 2022
Cappy here. Figured I'd stop by and check in again. You guys know what's really weird? Writing this diary is so much stranger now that I'm sober. No more craziness to write about. No more debating this med or that med. No more rules to follow or fail at following. No more sneaking, hiding, measuring, or tracking. I'm sitting here thinking, "Well...what am I supposed to be talking about now?!"
"Well your life Cappy, you silly ole sea goat!"
My current full time job is essentially righting the capsized boat that is my life through things like recovery work and self care. I feel incredibly self conscious and stupid writing that. I feel disgustingly privileged writing that. I do not feel deserving of that. I feel like I should be back to a job that earns money, even if I hate it, and I should be dragging myself to work every day for long hours, keeping my mouth shut and dealing with it. Happiness and fulfillment do not enter the equation at the baseline my mind operates at. "Reality isn't like that," says my mind. But...people have been trying to tell me my mind is wrong and I am trying to believe them because if it is true its better than laying on the couch all day drinking handles of vodka, vomiting blood, not eating, binge watching Law and Order SVU and crying. And hell, if it isn't true the vodka will still be there.
So, to that effect I keep going to IOP even though I'll need help paying for it. I watered my plants and spent time taking care of them today. I have made plans with friends both old and new and invested time in sitting with them and just talking for as long as we cared to talk. I keep going to meetings, some twelve step (AA and Al Anon) and some outside the twelve step model (Women for Sobriety and Phoenix Multi Sport). I make to do lists and do fun things every day. I relax when I need it. I'm slowly getting back into my hobbies. I could be using all this time to look for a job, work, and make money but I'm trying something different. It's scary but I feel okay. Or...at least today I do. And, I don't care about alcohol which is what I most want.
Anyways, thanks for listening y'all! <3 Have a lovely day and I wish you all the best with whatever cutting down, abstaining, or moderating you are hoping to do today. :D
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2022.01.24 19:19 CraigWLYT Let's Play Deus Ex Part 45: Return To Versalife
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2022.01.24 19:19 seizemeansplz Was the rise of the Ottoman Empire a good thing for Turkey?
2022.01.24 19:19 ArbitraryNameHere After What Felt Like a Million Runs, I Finally Got Focused!
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2022.01.24 19:19 Darth_Xenic Tommy is enjoying his new box more than his new blanket
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2022.01.24 19:19 Obewyn Lendsmart, Stratton Equities Incorporate Underwriting Technology
2022.01.24 19:19 THE_BANANA_KING_14 What did school teach you that turned out to be blatantly false?
2022.01.24 19:19 betterkangy Future me when I finally start getting decisions back
2022.01.24 19:19 RoloJP Apparently talking about horseshoe theory in a subreddit pretty much completely dedicated to calling it out is a banable offense.
2022.01.24 19:19 Takgu2 Blue Archive 1st Anniversary Collage
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2022.01.24 19:19 Obewyn Cybersecurity ETFs Win in Nasdaq’s Worst Week Since 2020
2022.01.24 19:19 GasMaskGhou1 Actually started it when io came out, too lazy to finish it. -Corrupted io
2022.01.24 19:19 blue4safe What are your Top 3 most annoying TV ADs?
2022.01.24 19:19 Common_Appointment_9 Ohio State Fellowships?
I know another poster had asked something similar but I was wondering if anyone who had applied to Ohio State MPH heard back for fellowships?
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2022.01.24 19:19 HAIRYMANBOOBS What am I supposed to do in discussion based classes
Im taking a discussion based class right now and it's become clear to me that it would be really hard for me to participate. Plus I have social anxiety. How am I supposed to participate if I can't process what people are saying to me or say things correctly?
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2022.01.24 19:19 Zero111of160cru Should I restart?
I just started playing this game about a month ago, so far I'm really enjoying it but I feel like I'm not nearly where I should be.
It's the first day of fall Year 1 and I have very little money, no animals, no upgraded tools, no buildings (Robin just started on the barn now) no house upgrades, and about 5 two heart ❤️❤️ friends which I only got because I somehow got lucky enough to make a decent stew.
I know the game doesn't have a time limit or anything but I still feel like I should have a lot more at this point. If someone were to glance at my game they'd assume I was still on my first week of spring (very little has improved since then).
Should I just restart the game and take a more aggressive approach?
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2022.01.24 19:19 Helpful_Campaign_361 why i cant unlock can you help me??
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2022.01.24 19:19 SLAVA_STRANA541 flag of the US but I switched all the red stripes
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2022.01.24 19:19 hereforhelp224 Second UR wave missed at BC
applied mid-september and zero movement, with people that applied after me getting decisions/going UR :( have no idea if this is a good or bad thing but just want to vent
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2022.01.24 19:19 Obewyn Growing Awareness About Ill Effects of Untreated Sleep Apnea & Surging Usage of Oral Appliances
2022.01.24 19:19 claudiflower Here are the wet chickens you ordered
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2022.01.24 19:19 WaveRider1999 Pregame Analysis of Matchup #1
1/24/22 - LA Kings v. NY Rangers
|Shots on Goal||39||23|
2022.01.24 19:19 Healthy_Ad3348 Problems with GPU usage.
I just got my Rtx 3080ti yesterday, I installed it and everything seems to be working properly except my GPU utilization. every time I try playing a game I get low FPS, when I have GeForce experiences performance tools on I see that my CPU usage is averaging 40% and my GPU usage ranges from 30% to 45%. how do I fix this? Specs I9 10850k @ stock RTX 3080ti @ stock 1050w PSU 64gb ram @ 2133mhz which is low but I’m not sure if that would have anything to do with the usage, I’m sorry I am not too familiar when it comes to bios and overclocking.
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2022.01.24 19:19 frzao Skid mark on the world's underwear
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2022.01.24 19:19 Gamer4605 Fall Guys potentially being removed from steam next season
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