Should a parent in-law to be have a say to our wedding?

2022.01.20 01:02 love_u_shibs Should a parent in-law to be have a say to our wedding?

Hi I (27) got engaged last month and we’re planning to get married by the end of next year. FH had a talked with his parents about our wedding celebration, we both wanted a lowkey simple wedding like courthouse and maybe buffet afterwards but his parents esp the mom hates the idea. She wants us to have a “traditional” wedding where bride walks down the aisle, invites all family and friends and have a nice reception afterwards and they also offered to help with the cost. While it sounds nice and all, I’m (bride) hates being the center of attention, all eyes on me type of thing I get embarrassed. Not to mention average wedding in Socal is 30k more or less, I can’t fathom the idea of spending so much in one day (mostly 5hours celebration), I talked to my FH about this and we both agreed to spend less than 10k for our wedding and to me that’s still alot and we’d rather put the money towards downpayment when we buy our first house esp here in Socal you need alot of money for that😫 we’re both capable to spend for our wedding since we’re both fortunate to have a good paying job. We just choose not to because we’d rather put the money towards something more important in the long run. Anyways, mom in-law to be got upset saying we don’t respect her decisions (she also wants to have their pastor to be our officiant, when FH said we’ll consider it she got upset and said “yes” should be our answer, she’s also already asking family and friends if they’re going to our wedding without us knowing when we didn’t even make the guest list yet. Don’t get me wrong I respect his parents as they will become my family too but the mom doesn’t really take no for an answer and my FH doesn’t really see the problem here and said she’s just trying to help. I’m just tired to reason out with them, and letting my FH to talked to them (he’s scared with his parent’s btw) Idk what to do I’m very confused and stressed out I just want the wedding to be smooth sailing where everyone gets along. My parents are very cool about my decisions btw. I need advice cuz idk what to do anymore Thank youuu
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